How Things Change when we Focus on ‘My Self’ instead of Telling You to Focus on Yourself?
We have discussed how to focus on yourself in length and breadth in the previous post. In this post, we will change our point of view to see how things can change when we try to focus on “myself”. Due to the change in the psychological viewpoint when “we focus on my self”. Rather than saying “to focus on yourself”.
A few things occur spontaneously and often skip our notice when we try to put my focus on myself. These are the three major things we found most important. That can create a serious impact to achieve the goal of my life. Let us see what these three things are.
1. Unable to treat ‘my self’ as ‘yourself’
To bring my focus on me, we often need to treat ‘my self’ as ‘yourself’. This is only possible when we can develop a third party point of view within myself. It enables us to see and talk to ourselves as someone else addressing ourselves as ‘you’. Allowing us to be able to find the faults and mistakes we commit unknowingly. Human psychology works naturally and normally in a way that we find faults in others. But struggle to find our own. Hence, judging ‘my self’ as ‘yourself’ is often necessary to be able to focus on my self.
2. Ignorance of Making and Validating The Checklist
Everything we discussed how to focus on yourself, applies back to us when we focus on my self. Often it is easy and convenient to make a checklist and confirm to ensure we never miss anything. It is also necessary to do things correctly for the best results. We often neglect them when we need to focus on ourselves. Similar psychology works here too. that since we are well aware of everything, we have taken care of them by default. It is a kind of overconfidence that makes us ignorant. And towards checking and validating our own agenda. We must consider that it can create serious obstacles to achieve the goal of my life at a later stage. Avoiding it and following things the same way we tell to ‘yourself’ is a smart approach for ‘my self’ too.
3. Omitting Things Randomly from The Checklist
Even if we prepare a checklist, we consider removing things from it when we put our focus on ‘myself’. A few different psychologies work here. We consider that a few things do not apply to us. We omit a few things from the list thinking. That we have already taken care of them in other areas of life and no need to consider here. Without properly brainstorming and validating the applicability of them in this particular situation. These may also create serious obstacles on the way to achieve the goal of my life in the future.
How to Approach and Address the Issues to Focus on Myself
We need to ‘focus myself’ on these issues to approach and address them. Since these may create obstacles to achieve the goal of my life at a later stage. Approaching and eliminating them from our life at the initial stage is essential for us. Especially if we have dreams and goals in our life to target and achieve. To lead a happy and successful lifestyle. We are listing below a 12 step approach to solve this issue. And omit it from your life instead of omitting things from your list.
1. I need to know myself first
We often have a misconception that I know myself better. This is the toughest task for any human being. Scientifically also we have different parts in our brains. Where semi-conscious, sub-conscious, and unconscious lies within us. Hence we can never know ourselves in totality. Even if we put our best efforts to know ourselves, we will be able to know our conscious and semi-conscious mind. Extended efforts may or may not reveal our sub-conscious mind. It takes a lot of practice of different levels of meditations. And by that also, we will be able to know our sub-conscious partially. If we manage to reach that state, we can think of trying to know our unconscious. But in our case, knowing our conscious and semi-conscious is enough. To know ourselves to the required level.
Now, how I can know about myself? Talking to myself from a third party perspective is necessary to know me. All these are universally true and applicable to both you and me and every other human being.
2. Let me water my grass and mind my own business
We often tell others to water your grass or mind your business. This applies to me too. I also need to water my grass and mind my own business to focus on my self. We often need to tell this to ourselves to keep ourselves undistracted. Repeating the process makes us focus on me the way we need it.
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3. Accepting my present position and status
Accepting where we stand at present in this regard allows us to be flexible and proceed further. Otherwise, believing that what I know about myself is enough, restricts us to know further. And about both our strengths and weaknesses. Accepting our present status and position is often necessary. To achieve higher success in our life.
4. Remember what you loved in your past
We all have experienced different kinds of emotions in our past life. Among them, we must have loved a few incidents and achievements. Also, we must have loved many moments due to various reasons. Like different celebrations and togetherness with our near and dear ones, in the past. We need to remember them to love our past. Also, we have moments of sorrow due to various reasons. Moments of sorrows and periods of hard times come with a lot of eye-opening lessons. Those lessons also need to remember and be grateful to be able to learn them in our lives. We need to lave our past life and be happy about it to keep ourselves motivated to build our future.
5. Use Social Media to Detox
If my life becomes toxic, I will use social media to detox myself. As it is easy and reachable to many and someone will help me detox myself. Detox myself instantly will help me remain intact in my focus of life.
6. This is not the end of the show
Know that this is not the end of the show when faced with challenging circumstances. We may get distracted by something important for the time being. But that should not shift my focus from it. Nothing ends until and unless I want to end it.
7. I have enough reasons to stay focused
I am grateful to have all I have and they are enough to stay motivated and focused on my goal of life. This attitude also gives me the energy I need to overcome obstacles in achieving the goal of my life.
8. Never try to impose a choice on me
I am never frightened to take challenges in my life to achieve my goal. So, never try to make me choose something guided by fear.
9. I don’t need to be perfect to achieve my goal
Running after making things perfect usually draw out more of our energy. Also, it repeatedly gives me a feeling of dissatisfaction. I don’t like it. It never does any good for me. Rather, it makes me feel tired and lost at the end of the day. What I need to know how to do something so that it serves my purpose. I am not perfect, so I can make mistakes. I will learn from them to make it correct and proceed further towards achieving my goal. Everyone, including myself, is allowed to make mistakes in life. I know how to move forward learning the lesson I need from it.
10. I don’t need an ally
I am my own ally at hard times and I know how to overcome them. I know that nobody will be able to put themselves on my shoes to be my ally. Yet, my friends and family will visit me and spend time with me the way I want. I need to relax and rejuvenate myself using them to overcome the phase.
11. I only compare myself with others to get the inspiration to achieve my goals
My friends and family tell me not to compare myself with others as it creates frustration. I read that on many websites and blogs too related to mental health. But, when I compare myself with others, I often figure out how to do something that I am struggling with. Also, I find a type of inspiration to work for setting or achieving my goal. Comparing myself with others helps me understand my present position. And also helps me find the inspiration to move forward to achieve my goal. I never compare or try to follow their way of achieving things in life. Rather, it is useful to compare where I was earlier and where I reached now. Practicing it in a regular interval maintaining a journal alongside is more useful.
12. I perform my responsibilities as per my plan
I take ownership of my responsibilities both in the workplace and in the family. And perform them as per my plan so that I can save my time to focus on my goals of life. I find it most convenient and also everyone in my workplace and family knows that. Hence, they often intimate me about any new responsibility in well advance. So that I can plan to include them as per my schedule and convenience. Except for a few real emergencies which are not in anybody’s control.
These 12 ways, often help us to understand and execute focus on my self. We can also do it by considering a third-party perspective or point of view. So that we can see and talk to ourselves addressing ourselves as ‘you’. Then follow our previous article about how to focus on yourself to achieve your goal.
We have explained how to focus on my self instead of ‘yourself’ changing the salutation. This is a continuation of the previous post only so that we can avoid the mistakes we make to focus on myself. Hope it will be useful for those who struggle to apply things on themselves the way they want and tell others.
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